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Beaty's First Haiku Attempt; Confused over syllable counting!
Topic Started: Dec 31 2017, 12:55 PM (36 Views)
Beaty

OK, I hate to be the first to show an example - but if other's can learn from my mistakes it'll be worth the embarrassment! :'(

I should admit that I found counting syllables not as easy as I first imagined. I was surprised that there seemed to be some debate about just how many syllables form certain word, and I ended up changing some of my words several times...Which, in turn, had a knock on effect. I'm still a little unsure if I have the correct number of syllables! :ermm:

Also, I'm not sure whether Haiku requires titles? In a way, I think that giving it a title sort of gives the game away as I *think* all the information is in the Haiku itself...?

Anyway, without further ado...

Broiling and tumbling
the hostile leaden foam pounds;
resigned is the shore


Beaty
Edited by Beaty, Dec 31 2017, 12:57 PM.
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harrydewulf
Administrator
I don't have any disagreement with the syllable count. I'm curious to know what words were giving you difficulty.

I'm not happy with "leaden foam" - in Haiku ideas are often juxtaposed but images are rarely in open conflict.

Switching from describing the breakers to the "attitude" of the shore is a good balance.
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